first impressions: JUDGING YOU

I asked Stephen to pretend to Facebook stalk me for the first time and tell me what his first impressions were:

1. doesnt speak english
2. maybe chooses not to; very exclusive
3. 404 friends; moderately popular, and refreshingly not a friend whore
4. profile picture with another person; is not a loner, has fun on occassion
5. Born on Nov 1; Determined and forceful. Emotional and intuitive. Powerful and passionate. Exciting and magnetic. Scorpios have magnetic and dynamic personalities. Typically they are likable and have a soothing affect on those around them. Scorpios also tend to be very creative and inventive and excel in professional careers such as medicine chemistry and physics. They tend also to be patient, courteous, loyal and generous. Those around them will often use them to help with problem resolution. Their greatest assets are the powers of will and determination.
6. many wall posts; likable person
7. tacky inside joke videos; immature
8. Three gifts from same girl; lesbian
9. Note titled "I know where you live"; completely normal!
10. Born in mexico; lazy, incompetent
11. Single but only looking for friendship; not aggressive, possibly asexual
12. Interested in men; bad liar
13. Activities: The Jimmy Chirps; lots of potential, success written all over
14. Air Supply; LAME
15. (Does not exist - profile rejected upon discovering Air Supply)
16. Mobile number for all to see; total hussy
17. Writes a blog; incredibly pretentious
18. "Make A Baby Application"; naive about how procreation works (I JUST FIGURED OUT HOW TO GET RID OF THIS,HOW EMBARRASSING!)
19. "hey have u gotten in contact with your dad?"; estranged family relationships
20. 1441 photos; VAIN
21. Polaroid photos; so indie shes mainstream
22. 127 profile pictures; identity crisis

NOW I'M SELF CONSCIOUS