waiting for the great pumpkin

HAPPY HALLOWEEEN!

I love Halloween.
it's my birthday eve.
I finished my costume, but I don't really like the basket, I hope people don't think I'm little red riding hood. D: I'm gonna go buy boxes(es) of raisins.
It's really cold outside, last Halloween was nice,
last Halloween I jumped over a train (not as exciting as it sounds).

quilts

Leo: You have your pants on? What's the occasion?

Haha, I hate wearing pants, and I hate to shower. Mostly because I hate taking my pants off, or do I hate having to put them back on? I wouldn't hate them If I didn't have to keep taking them on and off. I don't think I'm making any sense. If it were up to me I'd be in a bathrobe all day.
I finished my Halloween costume,well, Magali did. All I need now is a white blouse. Blouse, what a weird word.

Natalia's Dilemma

I just figured out what Punky's dilemma is. :o
I went over to Rubi's house today, her new place is really nice, we watched The Great Pumpkin. I love Peanuts. I started my skirt, but I am a little slow at figuring out how to cut things. I'll figure it out tomorrow. I miss my own bed, I haven't been there in a long time. I want to go home and listen to my Bookends record and sit on my bed.

it's magic

This is my last Wednesday at 12:19am as an 18 year old.
I've decided I had good teenage years, and I have done more than I ever expected, and I have one more teenage year left to do even more.
I have to stop making decisions based on astrology.
I also wish I didn't get this sudden nervous feeling.
I'm going to work on my Halloween costume tomorrow, it's pretty simple, but I am not to good at sewing with a sewing machine. I'll have Magali help me/possibly make the whole thing. :D I can't wait. I went to the fabric store with Lulu today. She came over for a little bit. I went to the basement of the fabric store for the first time ever in the 10 years I have been going there. I always thought it was off-limits. It was AWESOME. Full of all my favorite things, random trinkets, tacky necklaces, ugly upholstery fabric, even more ribbon than the upstairs part and what seemed to be ripped sweater pieces, and much much more.

I was actually able to find a picture of the basement of the place online, this is actually a lot like what the entire store looks like.

Narcissist

((excerpt from natalia’s diary
september 3 2009))

I can’t decide what to listen to. Everything sounds the same right now. Happy songs make me sad because I’m not happy, and sad songs make me sad because I’m sad. There’s no winning. I hate to lose. I always have things to write about, but I always forget them. I tell myself, "oh, it's too good, I won't forget", and then when I sit down and try to remember, I forget. I wonder what life would be like if people never forgot. I hate to remember, but I hate to forget,

I like to wonder. I like the feeling of melancholy, and I like the feeling of realization. I like to believe, and I like pretty piano music. I like to laugh, and I like to have fun. I don't think I have done many of those things in a long time. I'm good at pretending, and I'm good at assuming, and I think that I do those things more than I should. I hate contradictions, but I love them. I hate to hate, and I hate to love. I don't know if I will ever be able to explain anything. I like love songs and I like sad songs, I don't know what love is. Everything is mine, and if it's not then I don't like it. I don't know any forms of expression. I don't even know how to sing. Run-on sentences and big words make me nervous. I'm nervous 90% of the time. The other 10% I'm sleeping embarrassed or obsessing.

OMG it was a million years ago.
____________________________________________________
i don't get it.

pumpkinss?

Went apple picking with Leo and Calvin. We bought fudge, picked apples, and bought salsa. Then we went back to Calvin's dorm and watched Friends and ate chips and salsa.

if i could turn back time

I had a dream I was going to a Cher concert and there was a guy that refused to wear shoes or take off his sweater. That's all I remember.

:D

stand up

So I don't think I'm doing a good job at work. They told me I could go home at 12, and they didn't tell me to come in tomorrow. uh-oh.
I'd rather be working in the back making flowers.
The fake card lady came in again with a really wrinkly 5 dollar bill and bought a single red rose, I think she just wanted to smell it.
A guy called in from Massachusetts, or some other M state I can't really remember, he talked like such a bro, but anywho, he called to make an order for an plant to send someone in the area, the message was "Ugly Plant Part 2, I love you", inside joke probably, but I thought it was the cutest thing. I like seeing what people buy. Nothing else very exciting happened. I'm starting to like it less, already. I don't think the other people who work there like me very much, I think it's cause I'm shy. Ughhhies. I need a job that doesn't consist of me selling anything. And I hate that the owner/manager lady blames you when business is slow. Like I have any control over who comes in to the store. So I have to find a new job, I don't like this one. I like the idea of working in a flower shop though, just maybe with nice people.

first day on the job.

Some things I remember.
It was a lot harder than I expected. This is the first time I sit down since 9 in the morning.

THINGS I HAD TO DO:
fill out "pool" forms.
run over to Dunkin Donuts to buy the owner Hot Chocolate.
wrap flowers nicely ( a lot harder than i thought)
put flower food with each arrangement.
blew up a myler balloon.
clean the glass fridge.
with newspaper and windex (turned my hands black, but it actually cleaned better than paper towels)
swept the floor.
ran over to Subway to buy iced tea for me and the girl training me.

i have to switch from spanish to english without warning
i have to memorize so much

THINGS TO REMEMBER
all the prices, every single step.
to turn off the alarm, and turn on the NOW OPEN sign.

THINGS I HATE
everything i fill out on the computer has to be in CAPS
i have to refer to my self as Natalie when answering the phone (IRONY)
there is so much expected of me
i have to convince people to buy things they don't need
the designer in the back blasting songs like "lol smiley face"
standing
being nervous
putting people on hold
not knowing who to transfer over to Carol without her yelling at me.
answering phone calls
the first amount of change I had to give was $2.34
ladies that come in trying to buy flowers with a fake credit card.

THINGS I LIKE
there is so much expected of me
seeing people come in to buy flowers for people they love
spraying the flowers with fake flower scent
cleaning the glass with windex
the other girl having the same name necklace every mexican can't do without.
fax machines
the water tubes on the end of each flower.
i get to make bouquets
the pretty books
my first sale was to a 10 year old boy who came in to buy a stuffed animal for him mom, while she was getting a haircut next door.

SO PLEASE
if you ever need flowers, come to me!
come buy flowers from me MON-SAT from 9-3
if you can't, when you go in tell them i recommended you.
they actually do really really nice work there. it's ridiculous.
go to the website and ch-ch-check it out.
http://www.crystalflowershop.com/

------------------------------------
thank you, natalia

breakfast

Is this what people wear to work?
I don't like capital letters.
unnecessary.

flower power

Leo: Where did you get this job of yours?
Natalia: The flower shop.
Leo: I think that suits you well.

:D
I'm a little nervous.
I can't believe I actually got the job.
They said: no hickeys and no gym shoes.
They also said that it was a very nice thing what i did.
So thanks to Stephen who told me to write them a thank you note.
Everyone else thought it was a silly idea, and that's why it took them 13 job interviews to get a job.

mothballs

i can't wait until they bloom.
i need to stop waking up at 10:55am everyday.
i can't stop listening to The National. :D
i need to find/do things to write about.
i made recycled paper, with panty hose, it actually worked out real nice.
----
before i forget: i had the best dream last night.
i can't remember the details, i've waited too long.
but i can remember a creepy old building,creepy in a good way. and there was a gym, and there was twists and turns in the gym, and there was butter sandwiches, and a really crowded table. and there was a chase scene, but for the first time ever it wasn't scary. it was weird man, and then i woke up. best dream EVER. you had to be there.

story of my life

currently:


shout out to charmaine. wherever she may be.