it's a good thing existential breakdowns aren't contagious.

i wish we didn't forget all the tiny details.
i wish everything i did felt like the first time.
i wish we still lived in our imaginations.
i wish i could go to the desert.

Feliz Navidad

we only come out at night

hit me.

this song is magic to my ears and to my new hat.

in no particular order, the past 12 hours have consisted of a few things: the sort of sunrise, ugly singing, the point, calm water, the winter solstice, pretty snowflakes, an abandoned church, awkward sleeping positions, a pull top tin can with three 19 year olds inside, tripping over cats, laying on the street, old ladies hugging old men in the middle of the street, bumping & jumping, thirteen, and a couple walks around the block.

swap meet

Swap-o-rama used to be the coolest place to be Saturday mornings.
I went with my dad today, it cost 2 dollars to get in now. They believed my 48 year old father was a senior citizen. Saved us a buck. My dad has this new found obsession with buying perfumes. I think it's because the place he gets them from mixes them in front of you. I bought a cool hat for 7 dollars, and a one dollar unicorn from a trading card stand.

burgandy

I just spent the past 2 1/2 hours on the phone with Diana. I miss her a lot. I miss her always being late. I remember when I moved to Houston and I tried to convince her mom to move with us, and the first time we ever went to eat out alone when we were only 13 years old, and talking about candy and our secret crushes. I miss the times we made our kitties dance to techno music, or all of the times her millions of birds (or two) would escape from their cages and I would freak out, until they were captured and Diana would laugh the whole time. I also miss the times when we would watch The Wedding Singer religiously during unplanned sleepovers. And when we would fall asleep watching Alice in Wonderland because we were both too afraid to actually watch it. And listening to her mom listen to Queen. I like how excited she gets anytime she sees anything burgandy.I remember when I called her the first time I was moving out of the "hood" with my dad, and being really sad. And I remember the first time she refused to leave her house during the summer after 8th grade when she had her first lady problem. I like that no matter how long we go without talking, we can pick up were we left off so easily.

The inside of my nose hurts and I can't stop sneezing, and this library smells likes cigarettes and hobos.


Benjamin: people are like watches.

diaries

"Recently, when I got out of the elevator at my usual hour, it occurred to me that my life, whose days more and more repeat themselves down to the smallest detail, resembles that punishment in which each pupil must according to his offense write down the same meaningless (in repetition, at least) sentence ten times, a hundred times or even oftener; except that in my case the punishment is given me with only this limitation: as many times as you can stand it."
-Kafka

i lost my thumb

I went to wicker park with my cousin today. It made me claustrophobic. Now we are at home, about to make hot chocolate. I love the holidays. sometimes.

Ana: *puts on new coat and new purse* i'm gonna go outside to try out my new coat.
Natalia: it's just a windbreaker, and it's like 20 degrees outside.
Ana: *walks outside for 2 seconds* it's still cold.

the fire's out

to-do list:
read more patrick suskind
patiently wait for still life with woodpecker to arrive
get a kitty and name it linus or tom tom
find better things to blog about

currently:
working on christmas presents (and kind of failing)
waiting patiently for people to come home for the holidays
looking at pictures of kitties
not having much to blog about


Natalia: If you woke up one day and noticed that you were invisible, what is the first thing you would do?

Magali: I would run around naked.

explanations

^_^

;_;

porque?

+1 things i like
undivided attention.

what's on my mind

stephen will love this

Leo: Magali, you better get on the top bunk, Natalia's been sleeping on the top bunk, and I think it's gonna break soon.

Natalia: What?

Leo: I'm calling you fat.

>.<

me gustas tu

102 things i like:
1. the month of november
2. car rides
3. stories about my grandma
4. monotone voices
5. necklaces
6. solving mysteries
7. contradictions
8. planting seeds
9. dream-catchers
10. crushes
11. perfume commercials
12. finding things
13. documentaries
14. making playlists
15. waking people up
16. peoples voices when they just woke up
17. being a creep
18. making lists
19. accents
20. serendipity
21. the house my dad grew up in
22. hide-and seek
23. my blue bunny
24. pens
25. castles
26. black bears
27. paying in exact change
28. gypsy music
29. remembering
30. musee mecanique
31. dreams
32. being on time
33. old friends
34. watering plants
35. reminiscing
36. parsley
37. saying "i told you so"
38. alphabets
39. coincidences
40. sunglasses
41. cloud watching
42. anniversaries
43. incomplete sentences
44. flowers
45. apologies
46. stories about peoples old relatives
47. thrifting for things i'll never use
48. astrology
49. old things
50. wearing a bathrobe all day
51. waiting until the last minute to shower
52. eyes
53. the word ephemeral
54. the word anachronism
55. power ballads
56. envelopes
57. old buildings
58. buster baxter
59. my dad
60. clean socks
61. smelling shampoos
62. the 50's
63. memorizing vocabulary words
64. embroidery floss
65. photocopies
66. half used notebooks that used to belong to strangers
67. being on the same wavelength
68. the color yellow
69. waking up to music
70. spies
71. half-birthdays
72. baby pictures
73. knowing secrets
74. keeping secrets
75. ants
76. the names Rhea and Phoebe
77. the library
78. ID's
79. boxes
80. memories
81. raspberry lemonade
82. soft-serve ice cream
83. pancakes
84. popcorn
85. earl grey tea
86. red velvet cake
87. pomegranates
88. coffee mugs
89. being right
90. organizing computer files
91. paper
92. multiples of 9
93. inventing recipes (fail or success)
94. waking up at 9 am
95. days that go by slowly
96. going to bed at 11 pm
97. writing in my journal every day
98. gluing things
99. cutting paper with scissors
100. sleep-overs
101. stepping on crunchy leaves
102. making promises

get an idea like that

what's better than working hard for your first paycheck?
working hard for your first envelope stuffed with money.

:D :D :D

i immediately opened my first bank account.
i feel like a real person.

also.
ana: why do we have such small oranges?
natalia: those are tangerines.
ana: tangerines are those musical instruments you bang.
natalia: no....those are tambourines.

BOYS ARE WEIRD

Leo: Can I use the computer?
Natalia: No.
Leo: But I get gassy when I'm bored.
Natalia: EWWW
Leo: It's true, I make silent farts in math class.


Natalia: leo keeps farting
says he gets gassy when hes bored
EWWW

Stephen: haha at least its something to do
what a smart body of his

Calvin: hahah i should use that excuse

projectionist

Natalia: If you woke up one day and noticed that you are invisible, what is the first thing you would do?

Julian: I would cry, and wonder where I went.

cynoglossum blue

i had to move my plants to a bigger house.
the little fuzzies on them are scary.

JACK'S INTERVIEW

What is one thing you would happily do again?
Move to Chicago (technically it wasn't something that i did but you get the point).
If you won a 10 million dollars, what would you do?
I would probably give a couple hundred thousand to some micro-loan or school charity thingy. I'd invest about 7-8 million so that I would never have to work again, and the last 2 million would go to buying me 4 few nice houses around the world. One in North America one in South America one in Europe and one in Asia.
If you woke up one day and noticed that you are invisible, what is the first thing you would do?
I would probably just follow people around for days at a time. I've always been curious what other people's lives are like.
If you try to fail, and succeed, which one have you done?
That's a paradox, so there's no real answer.

I also asked people what they would ask you if they could ask you any question, and this is what I got, I will keep them anonymous. None of these were me, I promise.
Is it the meat or the motion?
why choose?
Ho do you do....that thing you do?
how do i do that thang? lots of protein shakes and vitamin b-12.
How did you get to be one of the coolest people around?
same as 6.
Why are you overall such a nice guy?
Because i can't be any other way?
Spaceship or Dinosaur?
Dinosaur.
If you could only keep one, would it be your hair, or your voice?
Hair
How often do you shave your wolf-like neck hair?
never
What do you think the root of all evil is?
There is none.
What reason should people have to be happy when they wake up? (aka why is life worth living?)
fucked if I knew.
From where do you draw the inspiration for your fashion sense?
my fashion sense is as follows: I do not put any thought into what I wear and only wear what is given to me.
What do you have to say about the neurons in our brains?
Neurons in my brain: there are a lot of them and they control what I do.

leviosaaaa

Charmaine Butt

THE BASICS:
GEMINI
FAVORITE COLOR:unknown
RUGBY PLAYER
LIKES TO COMB HAIR


I like to think that Charmaine is one of the best people I know. Is that not grammatically correct? Well, the point is Charmaine is the greatest.

I don't think I have ever heard her say a dirty word. Classy lady, or uses swear words so good, I don't even notice them.

I don't think she has gone a day in her life without milk. Chocolate milk, regular milk, maybe even strawberry milk. She loves milk.

I have gone through many people, and I have decided Charmaine is at the top of my possible soul-twins. I do have facts to prove this theory, but I can't think of them at the top of my head.

She likes to read other peoples blogs.

I think she is really interested in the way people think about other things.



While Jack takes an eternity to respond to my e-mail with all the questions...
Hopefully, for my next blog post thing, I will have Charmine's interview all ready. :D

John "Jack" something with a C Hudson

Jack: roflcopter
some things i think i know about jack without having to ask him

he uses big words.
he has nice hair.
i guess it's all subjective.
he says "lol" more than me and you, and possibly the entire world combined.
He usually has something more to say, so it makes it okay, unlike those annoying people I can't stand who only say lol, and expect you to reply.
one of his biggest fears is facebook releasing private information, such as your top profile viewers and such, it would also be his dream come true
Jack: i would freak out but ultimately i think it would be good
he's just like you and me.
he has a deep voice.
:D
he's afraid of social situations (coughgirlscough)
(coughhahahacough)
lack of excitement makes him unbearable.
but i don't know if he can define exciting
one of his favorite songs is "Let the Beat Build" by Lil Wayne
chances he's listening to it right now are about 1:100.

I have decided to do a series of really bad interview-y type things on the people I know. Jack is first, because he sort of inspired it. Until next time though, because right now he's busy doing school-y stuff.

waiting for the great pumpkin

HAPPY HALLOWEEEN!

I love Halloween.
it's my birthday eve.
I finished my costume, but I don't really like the basket, I hope people don't think I'm little red riding hood. D: I'm gonna go buy boxes(es) of raisins.
It's really cold outside, last Halloween was nice,
last Halloween I jumped over a train (not as exciting as it sounds).

quilts

Leo: You have your pants on? What's the occasion?

Haha, I hate wearing pants, and I hate to shower. Mostly because I hate taking my pants off, or do I hate having to put them back on? I wouldn't hate them If I didn't have to keep taking them on and off. I don't think I'm making any sense. If it were up to me I'd be in a bathrobe all day.
I finished my Halloween costume,well, Magali did. All I need now is a white blouse. Blouse, what a weird word.

Natalia's Dilemma

I just figured out what Punky's dilemma is. :o
I went over to Rubi's house today, her new place is really nice, we watched The Great Pumpkin. I love Peanuts. I started my skirt, but I am a little slow at figuring out how to cut things. I'll figure it out tomorrow. I miss my own bed, I haven't been there in a long time. I want to go home and listen to my Bookends record and sit on my bed.

it's magic

This is my last Wednesday at 12:19am as an 18 year old.
I've decided I had good teenage years, and I have done more than I ever expected, and I have one more teenage year left to do even more.
I have to stop making decisions based on astrology.
I also wish I didn't get this sudden nervous feeling.
I'm going to work on my Halloween costume tomorrow, it's pretty simple, but I am not to good at sewing with a sewing machine. I'll have Magali help me/possibly make the whole thing. :D I can't wait. I went to the fabric store with Lulu today. She came over for a little bit. I went to the basement of the fabric store for the first time ever in the 10 years I have been going there. I always thought it was off-limits. It was AWESOME. Full of all my favorite things, random trinkets, tacky necklaces, ugly upholstery fabric, even more ribbon than the upstairs part and what seemed to be ripped sweater pieces, and much much more.

I was actually able to find a picture of the basement of the place online, this is actually a lot like what the entire store looks like.

Narcissist

((excerpt from natalia’s diary
september 3 2009))

I can’t decide what to listen to. Everything sounds the same right now. Happy songs make me sad because I’m not happy, and sad songs make me sad because I’m sad. There’s no winning. I hate to lose. I always have things to write about, but I always forget them. I tell myself, "oh, it's too good, I won't forget", and then when I sit down and try to remember, I forget. I wonder what life would be like if people never forgot. I hate to remember, but I hate to forget,

I like to wonder. I like the feeling of melancholy, and I like the feeling of realization. I like to believe, and I like pretty piano music. I like to laugh, and I like to have fun. I don't think I have done many of those things in a long time. I'm good at pretending, and I'm good at assuming, and I think that I do those things more than I should. I hate contradictions, but I love them. I hate to hate, and I hate to love. I don't know if I will ever be able to explain anything. I like love songs and I like sad songs, I don't know what love is. Everything is mine, and if it's not then I don't like it. I don't know any forms of expression. I don't even know how to sing. Run-on sentences and big words make me nervous. I'm nervous 90% of the time. The other 10% I'm sleeping embarrassed or obsessing.

OMG it was a million years ago.
____________________________________________________
i don't get it.

pumpkinss?

Went apple picking with Leo and Calvin. We bought fudge, picked apples, and bought salsa. Then we went back to Calvin's dorm and watched Friends and ate chips and salsa.

if i could turn back time

I had a dream I was going to a Cher concert and there was a guy that refused to wear shoes or take off his sweater. That's all I remember.

:D

stand up

So I don't think I'm doing a good job at work. They told me I could go home at 12, and they didn't tell me to come in tomorrow. uh-oh.
I'd rather be working in the back making flowers.
The fake card lady came in again with a really wrinkly 5 dollar bill and bought a single red rose, I think she just wanted to smell it.
A guy called in from Massachusetts, or some other M state I can't really remember, he talked like such a bro, but anywho, he called to make an order for an plant to send someone in the area, the message was "Ugly Plant Part 2, I love you", inside joke probably, but I thought it was the cutest thing. I like seeing what people buy. Nothing else very exciting happened. I'm starting to like it less, already. I don't think the other people who work there like me very much, I think it's cause I'm shy. Ughhhies. I need a job that doesn't consist of me selling anything. And I hate that the owner/manager lady blames you when business is slow. Like I have any control over who comes in to the store. So I have to find a new job, I don't like this one. I like the idea of working in a flower shop though, just maybe with nice people.

first day on the job.

Some things I remember.
It was a lot harder than I expected. This is the first time I sit down since 9 in the morning.

THINGS I HAD TO DO:
fill out "pool" forms.
run over to Dunkin Donuts to buy the owner Hot Chocolate.
wrap flowers nicely ( a lot harder than i thought)
put flower food with each arrangement.
blew up a myler balloon.
clean the glass fridge.
with newspaper and windex (turned my hands black, but it actually cleaned better than paper towels)
swept the floor.
ran over to Subway to buy iced tea for me and the girl training me.

i have to switch from spanish to english without warning
i have to memorize so much

THINGS TO REMEMBER
all the prices, every single step.
to turn off the alarm, and turn on the NOW OPEN sign.

THINGS I HATE
everything i fill out on the computer has to be in CAPS
i have to refer to my self as Natalie when answering the phone (IRONY)
there is so much expected of me
i have to convince people to buy things they don't need
the designer in the back blasting songs like "lol smiley face"
standing
being nervous
putting people on hold
not knowing who to transfer over to Carol without her yelling at me.
answering phone calls
the first amount of change I had to give was $2.34
ladies that come in trying to buy flowers with a fake credit card.

THINGS I LIKE
there is so much expected of me
seeing people come in to buy flowers for people they love
spraying the flowers with fake flower scent
cleaning the glass with windex
the other girl having the same name necklace every mexican can't do without.
fax machines
the water tubes on the end of each flower.
i get to make bouquets
the pretty books
my first sale was to a 10 year old boy who came in to buy a stuffed animal for him mom, while she was getting a haircut next door.

SO PLEASE
if you ever need flowers, come to me!
come buy flowers from me MON-SAT from 9-3
if you can't, when you go in tell them i recommended you.
they actually do really really nice work there. it's ridiculous.
go to the website and ch-ch-check it out.
http://www.crystalflowershop.com/

------------------------------------
thank you, natalia

breakfast

Is this what people wear to work?
I don't like capital letters.
unnecessary.

flower power

Leo: Where did you get this job of yours?
Natalia: The flower shop.
Leo: I think that suits you well.

:D
I'm a little nervous.
I can't believe I actually got the job.
They said: no hickeys and no gym shoes.
They also said that it was a very nice thing what i did.
So thanks to Stephen who told me to write them a thank you note.
Everyone else thought it was a silly idea, and that's why it took them 13 job interviews to get a job.

mothballs

i can't wait until they bloom.
i need to stop waking up at 10:55am everyday.
i can't stop listening to The National. :D
i need to find/do things to write about.
i made recycled paper, with panty hose, it actually worked out real nice.
----
before i forget: i had the best dream last night.
i can't remember the details, i've waited too long.
but i can remember a creepy old building,creepy in a good way. and there was a gym, and there was twists and turns in the gym, and there was butter sandwiches, and a really crowded table. and there was a chase scene, but for the first time ever it wasn't scary. it was weird man, and then i woke up. best dream EVER. you had to be there.

story of my life

currently:


shout out to charmaine. wherever she may be.